Rob and Big.

DISCLAIMER:
This post is part II of II of possibly the 2 most shallow and unthoughtful posts I've ever written and may or may not include a certain amount of sarcasm.

I have recently heard from several guys in Oakwood Hall that "Rob and Big" is one of the funniest shows to ever air. I watched portions of the MTV2 reality show both by myself and with others as well as on the TV and on YouTube. I have since concluded that "Rob and Big" is not funny. Rob is definitely not funny at all and the character Big is only mildly funny at best (meaning that I gave one small chuckle that was forced). I think that they are not funny because they are trying to be funny and they think that they are funny. Their attempt at humor is actually self-absorbed, terribly shallow (as is this post; see "disclaimer"), and forced. Things that are truly funny include:

1. The Office
2. Lee Yowell
3. Jerry Seinfeld
4. "So You Think You Can Dance?" tryouts

Top 5: Best Film, Athletic Theme

Top Five: Best Film, Athletic Theme
5. Rudy
4. Hoosiers
3. Remeber the Titans
2. We Are Marshall
And the SRWGFA (Subversive Reformation Writers Guild Film Award) goes to:
1. Miracle

Top Five: Rocky Films
4. Rocky II
5. Rocky I
3. Rocky III
2. Rocky Balboa
And the SRWGFA goes to:
1. Rocky IV

Blessed Glycerine.

I just realized that the tune "Blessed Be Your Name" by Matt Redman is a bad version of Bush's "Glycerine." I like the lyrical progression and fluctuation of "Glycerine" much better. I grew up on "Christian music." My early days of adolescence were filled with DC Talk, Audio Adrenaline, and Newsboys. I have since discovered that there is actually good music out there. I would highly suggest Iron & Wine, Matt Nathanson, Radiohead, U2, Coldplay, Snow Patrol, Jack Johnson, Dashboard Confessional, Pedro the Lion, Kings of Leon, Arcade Fire, The Fray, and others that deserve to be listed but would result in exhaustive list making.
Please include your recommendations in a comment.
Thank you.
SHAME ON ME: I nearly forgot James Taylor.

Emergent Top 10 / 80%

I found a mildly humorous Top 10 list to determine if I am "Emergent." I edited it slightly to transition it to a level of somewhat humorous.

You might be Emergent if...

10. ... you have never read one of the "Left Behind Books" or prayed the "Prayer of Jabez" or led the "40 Days of Purpose."

9. ... you know that a megachurch only belongs on VH1's "I Love the '80's."

8. ... you wouldn't be surprised to see Gandhi in heaven but you would be floored to see Jerry Falwell.

7. ... you argue that the Beast is America and the Anti-Christ is Pat Robertson.

6. ... your mentor just used profanity and it seemed appropriate.

5. ... you honored your pastor with a box of fine cigars.

4. ... your hair looks like a bad midwestern version of Ryan Seacrest's.

3. ... you carry a Nalgene water bottle in a North Face backpack while complaining about consumerism.

2. ... you purchase your church supplies from a Buddhist book shop.

1. ... your favorite Carson is Daily but definitely not Don.

Based on the above list I am 80% Emergent. Which two do not apply to me?

In the Year 2008...

Though I do not claim to be a fortune-teller, prophet, palm-reader, astrologist, or tarot card expert I thought I should mock the aforementioned and the bringing in of a new year while simultaneously honoring Conan O'Brien by looking into the future.
In the year 2008...
... the United States of America will celebrate it's first female or African-American president.
... I will learn through failure and success both through grace.
... regular unleaded gasoline will reach $4.00/gallon.
... Verizon will introduce a global calling plan.
... AT&T will change its name back to Cingular... again.
... my daughter Kyla at age (1) will state her first sentence, "Church is the missional, covenant community of followers of Jesus marked by incarnational compassion."
... Mariah Carey will attempt to make a comeback with an atrocious release entitled, "Sparkle."

(1) THING (twice).

(1) thing that I like about Christmas: People.

There could be some valuable sociological studies conducted by means of mall observation. When I had the unfortunate displeasure of going to Easton Town Center on December 21, my introverted self found itself tucked away in some corners simply observing people. I am not sure that I can even articulate my thoughts so I will include a few examples and allow you to formulate your own perspective:

A) Two sisters walking side-by-side wearing matching wreath-printed turtle neck shirts under fluffy "Christmas" sweaters.

B) A two-hour line to have a child's picture taken sitting on the lap of an unknown man dressed in a large red suit with fluffy cotton lining and beard.

C) Anxious and self-indulged expression of teenage girls trying to pick out just the right outfit. In a matter of 20 minutes, 15 other girls painstakingly picked out the same exact outfit.

(1) thing that I don't like about Christmas: People.

There are (3) groups of people that drive me crazy during the holiday season:
1) Parents.
a) who buy there children everything that they want.
b) who scream at their children in stores.
c) with strollers.
2) Drivers: Who determines who is able to obtain a Driver's License anway?
3) Teenagers in Starbucks: See upcoming post entitled, "Who invented the Frappucino?"

DISCLAIMER: It is important to note that I fall into category 1C. Sarah and I use a stroller (see pictured) when in public and walking any extended distances. I actually ran into a girl's bag when she stepped out in front of me. Fortunately, the bag was from Hollister so I didn't mind hitting it. Secondly, it was her fault for not yeilding to oncoming traffic. Who determines who is able to obtain a Baby Stroller Driver's License anyway? Rather, who determines who is able to obtain a Teenage Girl Walking in Mall License anyway?


This post is dedicated to LEE YOWELL.

American Gladiators.

American Gladiators was one of my favorite shows on Saturday mornings when I was a child. Nitro, Viper, Storm, Electra, and others took on the "contenders" in a series of physically challenging competitions. Though I am a reader of Henri Nouwen, who does not advocate competition, I must appeal to the game-like, simulated-competition entertainment that is the returning American Gladiators. The show returns to NBC on January 6 with a special program this Wednesday evening. I'm sure I will have some upcoming posts comparing and/or contrasting the television show to real gladiator battles about which we read in history books or watch in cinematographically enhanced films starring Russell Crowe. Alas, I have my calendar marked for some American Gladiator viewage.

Giving Manifesto.

A conversation with my wife, Sarah, and sister, Shannon, about the celebration of Christmas and our intentionality to cease our consumerism produced a dialogue between my four-year-old nephew and me:
Travis: Bryson, are you going to give anything to anybody this year for Christmas?
Bryson: No, Santa Claus is.
Travis: Santa Clause is? You're not going to give any gift?
Bryson: No, Santa Claus is.
Travis: Haven't other people given you gifts for Christmas?
Bryson: No, Santa Claus does that.
Travis: You mean your grammy has never gotton you a gift?
Bryson: No, just Santa.
Shannon: Bryson, grammy and papaw have given you gifts for Christmas.
Bryon: Yeah.
Travis: So, don't you think it would be good for you to give to someone?
Bryson: No, Santa Claus is.

What has our culture taught our children?

Presidential Candidates.

Just for fun I completed an online survey to see with which 2008 presidential candidate's views my opinions most closely match. Though I didn't like the ambiguity and overly-general questions here are my results:

Dennis Kucinich (D) - Ohio Representative: 78.33% match
Ron Paul (R) - Texas Representative: 68.33%
Mike Gravel (D) - Former Alaska Senator : 66.67%
Joseph Biden (D) - Delaware Senator : 49.17%
Hillary Clinton (D) - New York Senator: 48.33%
John Cox (R) - Businessman: 48.33%
Christopher Dodd (D) - Connecticut Senator: 48.33%
Barack Obama (D) - Illinois Senator: 48.33%
John Edwards (D) - Former North Carolina Senator: 47.50%
Bill Richardson (D) - New Mexico Governor: 46.67%
Mike Huckabee (R) - Former Arkansas Governor: 44.17%
Sam Brownback (R) - Kansas Senator: 40.00%
John McCain (R) - Arizona Senator: 40.00%
Governor Mitt Romney (R) - Former Massachusetts: 40.00%
Tom Tancredo (R) - Colorado Representative: 31.67%
Rudy Giuliani (R) - Former New York City Mayor: 28.33%
Duncan Hunter (R) - California Representative 23.33%
Fred Thompson (R) - Former Tennessee Senator: 23.33%

I am ecstatic that 15 of my 18 matches rank below 50% with only 3 between 60% and 80%. I am for the abolishment of the two-party system and my results may reveal why. It is impossible to find a candidate with whom I highly agree due their stances being formulated not on a per issue basis but on a "party-line."
Take to survey for yourself: http://www.vajoe.com/candidate_calculator.html

Lighter.

Here is a pretty inconsequential and unthoughtful post to rest my mind.

Top 5 Best Athletic Movies (in no particular order):
- Hoosiers
- We Are Marshall
- Miracle
- Rudy
- Remember the Titans