Saturday, January 12, 2008

Emergent Top 10 / 80%

I found a mildly humorous Top 10 list to determine if I am "Emergent." I edited it slightly to transition it to a level of somewhat humorous.

You might be Emergent if...

10. ... you have never read one of the "Left Behind Books" or prayed the "Prayer of Jabez" or led the "40 Days of Purpose."
9. ... you know that a megachurch only belongs on VH1's "I Love the '80's."
8. ... you wouldn't be surprised to see Gandhi in heaven but you would be floored to see Jerry Falwell.
7. ... you argue that the Beast is America and the Anti-Christ is Pat Robertson.
6. ... your mentor just used profanity and it seemed appropriate.
5. ... you honored your pastor with a box of fine cigars.
4. ... your hair looks like a bad midwestern version of Ryan Seacrest's.
3. ... you carry a Nalgene water bottle in a North Face backpack while complaining about consumerism.
2. ... you purchase your church supplies from a Buddhist book shop.
1. ... your favorite Carson is Daily but definitely not Don.

Based on the above list I am 80% Emergent. Which two do not apply to me?


Brandon Blackord said...

uhh... 10 and 2?? haha

Amanda Anastasia said...


Anonymous said...

5 and 2 and OMG HAHA LOL

peterkevinson said...

You've prayed the prayer of Jabez and I don't think you gave your pastor a box of fine cigars. I know who your mentor is and I'm sure he used profanity both appropriately and not appopriately. You should here my mentor at times:)

Ryan Schmitz said...

Here is that site I talked about at lunch today. I still like number 3.

Ryan Schmitz said...


Nate O. said...

this is quite clever... and in many ways, ridiculously close to par..

Matthew 5:38-48, NASB

"You have heard that it was said, 'An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.' But I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also. If anyone want to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also. Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two. Give to him who asks of you, and do not turn away from him who wants to borrow from you. You have heard that it was said, 'You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not even the tax collectors do the same? If you greet only you brothers, what more are you doing than others? Do not even the Gentiles do the same? Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect."